The Life You Live May Not Be the Life You Want

How to change a force-fed life and walk the path less traveled

Photo by Zakaria Zayane on Unsplash

“The greatest battle we face as human beings is the battle to protect our true selves from the self the world wants us to become.”
- E. E. Cummings


If you knew you could not fail, would you make different choices?

Would you risk switching jobs?

Would you risk leaving a relationship?

Would you risk living authentically, doing what makes you happy?


Society has a way of force-feeding our lives with social expectations that contradict our soul’s calling. And the only way to break free is to let go of all that is and welcome all that is new.

You see, the life you’re living may not be the life you want.

We are conditioned from birth to live based on standards set by our culture, family, and friends. As we get older, we lose sight of our authentic voice. If we are not careful, the well-wishes and words of wisdom from others can quell our soul’s calling.

In time, we condition ourselves to believe the thoughts of others are our own. When in truth, they are not our own. They are compounded versions of what others call us to be. Eventually, these thoughts lead us to live a force-fed life.

Why would anyone want to lead a life different than their calling? The answer is acceptance. We want to be accepted. As humans, we naturally want to belong. Simply Psychology explains

“Belongingness, refers to a human emotional need for interpersonal relationships, affiliating, connectedness, and being part of a group.”


According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory, love and belonging are things we need before we can focus on creativity and inner potential. No one wants to be an outsider. But acceptance should not come at the risk of losing yourself.

If the pandemic taught us anything, it is to swap the idea of a “perfect life” for one of authenticity and truth. Authenticity and truth allows us to look in the mirror, realize who we are, and determine what we want. Only then can we begin to seek and experience life differently.

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Why does it take so long for us to live the life we want?

It’s simple. It takes courage. It takes courage to stand up for our beliefs, to pursue careers and projects that light our souls on fire. It takes bucking a system that defies the traditional path. It means saying no to things that don’t align with our desires. And saying yes to those that do — even creating opportunities that don’t exist.

How can you live a more authentic life?

It’s not easy to challenge the life we live. But if we slow down, we can feel the tug again — the calling to do something different. To stop settling and give life to dead dreams.

Here are three quotes to help you live a more authentic life:

“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you — the first time around.” — Oprah Winfrey

The message from this quote — get clarity. Clarity helps you know what you want and determine what feels right. Getting clarity begins with spending time alone listening to your inner guidance, reflecting on areas of your life that are working and areas that don’t align with your core being.

If you need help getting clarity, read this Zen Habits article for tips.

“Remember: We all get what we tolerate. So stop tolerating excuses within yourself, limiting beliefs of the past, or half-assed or fearful states.” ―Tony Robbins

Our belief system determines how we view ourselves and our potential. And limiting beliefs create a glass ceiling, blocking our growth. They keep you in a force-fed life.

Watch this short YouTube What is CAFI? (Use it to DESTROY Limiting Beliefs) video to learn how to challenge these beliefs.

“Become extremely intentional with everything that you do. Be fully on purpose. Make sure everything you do supports who you are and who you want to be.” — Norbert Juthema,

Once you have clarity, and address limiting beliefs, begin making decisions based on what resonates with you — at your core. Begin to live life awake, doing what aligns and resonates. Do and say what you mean unapologetically.

Review this Becoming Minimalist article for tips on how to live a life of intention.

Transformation takes time. As you begin this journey, take baby steps. Show yourself compassion. And remember the words of Oprah Winfrey,

“You’ve got to follow your passion. You’ve got to figure out what it is you love–who you really are. And have the courage to do that. I believe that the only courage anybody ever needs is the courage to follow your own dreams.”
― Oprah Winfrey